How do parents cope? With the number of supertwins (triplets and beyond) soaring due to increasing use of fertility drugs, The Why Files got to wondering: How do parents cope? Should we greet this multiplication of multiples with open arms -- or open alarm? Each couple responds uniquely to the intense media focus of raising multiple-birth children, says Louis Keith, an obstetrician-gynecologist who studies multiples at Northwestern University. "The impact [of multiples] will be different for every couple. Some will revel in the attention, and others will feel like a bunch of lab animals." U P D A T E 1 MAY 1998. On April 28, The New York State Task Force on Life and the Law, an advisory panel to the state Health Department, urged a dramatic tightening of the rules governing advanced fertility technologies. For example, the panel urged more concern about the fate of the multiple children born in one of every three births using assisted fertility. The panel also tried to clarify who should get parental rights when eggs and/or sperm are donated. See "Health Panel Seeks Sweeping Changes in Fertility Therapy," The New York Times, 29 April, 1998, p. A1. . The surviving Dionne sisters recently published an open letter to the McCaugheys about the dangers of media hype. Born 63 years ago, the world's first surviving quintuplets were converted into a public spectacle by the Government of Ontario, Canada. The sisters played behind one-way mirrors in "Quintland" (we wish we were inventing this) under the gaze of millions of gawking tourists. "We sincerely hope a lesson will be learned from examining how our lives were forever altered by our childhood experience. If this letter changes the course of events for these newborns, then perhaps our lives will have served a higher purpose." The energy crisis So what are the burdens on parents? Lois Gallmeyer, executive secretary of The National Organization of Mothers of Twins Clubs, notes that while it's expensive to raise multiples, money didn't register on the group's recent survey. Instead, these parents of multiples had these concerns:
			Most important was the parental energy crisis -- exhaustion and sleep deprivation -- particularly with newborns. Higher-order multiples are typically born at least somewhat premature, greatly increasing the need for care.
			Giving enough attention to older siblings.
			Helping older siblings adjust. "It's very upsetting," Gallmeyer says. "You've been an only child, top dog. And all these attention-getters come along, and you can't ever get your due."
			Maintaining the marital relationship. (Interested in how parents fall in love in the first place? The Why Files cavorted with Cupid.)
		These feelings are familiar to all parents, Gallmeyer observes, yet with multiples, "it's not double, it's almost exponential, and it goes on and on," as several children need clothes, braces or help with homework. And we're not even mentioning the financial blitzkrieg called college tuition. Time magazine warned that multiples are trouble "even in the best homes." Fact is, Time found this sobering factoid about time and triplets: "According to Australian researchers, it takes 198 hours a week to run a household and care for triplets. That's 30 more hours than there are in a week." Do we ever get a break? And yet after the months of exhaustion and sleep deprivation, the picture changes. That's the word from Janet Bleyl, president of Triplet Connection, a 15-year-old national resource center for parents of supertwins. "The family starts getting back increasing amounts for the effort they are expending." Not only do the kids start entertaining each other, but the parents don't need to satisfy varying levels of maturity. And there's a unique quality of togetherness, she adds. "If they all get a big wheel for Christmas, it's the most exciting thing in the world. Your best friends have one also." Guess what's the number one survival suggestion for new parents of twins? Get help. And number two? Dump stress. On the downside... Still, we're not trying to brush on too much rose pigment here. Mothers of supertwins are "facing a high-risk pregnancy," Bleyl admits. "After years of wanting a child, they are faced with much more than they bargained for... It's overwhelming." Usually, the dangers of multiple births are attributable to premature delivery. They include low birthweight, underdeveloped lungs, cerebral palsy and other developmental disorders. For every 1,000 births of triplets and higher-order multiples, 167 die in infancy and 179 are disabled -- radically more than is true of twins, let alone singleton births. Those statistics explain why Bleyl says the parents' job starts as soon as they discover they are expecting multiples. Parents must inform themselves and their doctors about the gestational needs of multiples, she says. And the numbers also explain why those who work with -- and love -- supertwins have a mixed reaction to the news from Iowa. "We come down on both sides," say Gallmeyer, of the mothers of twins clubs. "It's wow! and oh no! at the same time... It's a big miracle that they are healthy, and she carried them so long." Yet Gallmeyer warns that this successful birth should not be an advertisement for a repeat performance: "The higher the number of the multiples, the greater the risk." How many ways can you diaper seven babies? Check our massive multiple math quiz.

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