Million-year Cleanup Begins after Monster Pileup!

CAMBRIDGE, Mass

It's the oldest - and lamest - excuse in the book: four monster galaxies collide, and the rubber-necker-in-chief says he's innocent. "It wasn't my doing. I was just a witness," claims Kenneth Rines, a post-doctoral fellow at the Harvard Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics.

Rines told us he used a camera in his cell phone, and some slightly fancier photographic equipment, to take snapshots of a four-way galactic collision that catapulted billions of stars out of their mother galaxies. The smash-up is the largest ever recorded in the noble history of demolition derbies, and Rines says he was "just a witness."

Well, tell it to the judge is what we're thinking...